My top books for learning about self-regulation + nervous system healing
Reading list for self-regulation
I’ve learned so much from these incredible authors over the years, I just had to share my favourite books for creating a foundation of self regulation.
Here are my top picks and a few key points about each:
1. Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate
This is a book about ADHD but I believe it’s a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the cultural and environmental contributors to a widespread struggle with self-regulation. Here’s what it covers:
Understanding ADHD as a multifaceted conditions that involve a combination of genetic, environmental, and developmental factors rather than a behavioral problem
How early childhood experiences shape brain development and emotional regulation
Addressing the underlying emotional and psychological issues that contribute to ADHD (which can be applied to other self-regulatary challenges)
Self-acceptance and Empowerment: Maté encourages people with ADHD to cultivate self-acceptance and resilience, and focus on recognising their unique strengths and challenges.
2. The Resilient Mind by Dr John Demartini
I love Dr Demartini’s unique take on resilience. Here are some key points from the book:
Resilience a skill that can be developed, you don’t have to be born with it
How to reframe our perceptions and find meaning in difficult situations
The importance aligning our actions with our authentic values and purpose in life to provide consistent motivation
The role of self-awareness and self-mastery in building resilience
The importance of adaptability and flexibility in navigating life's challenges
Gratitude and present-moment focus
Why building healthy relationships contributes to emotional strength
Setting goals and persevering despite setbacks
3. The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey
A classic, and one of the first books that influenced me to work on my self-regulation and communication skills, The 7 Habits is a must-read. Here the key points:
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Covey shows why others are so much more likely to try to understand our viewpoint when we understand their first!
Take responsibility for your own actions. As I’ve learned, this is a much more satisfying way to live than playing the blame game
Have a clear vision of what success means to you and follow it
Prioritise tasks according to your highest values
Think creatively to get win-win outcomes
4. The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishmi and Fumitake Koga
Do titles come more eye-catching than this one? Who else is terrified of being disliked? This book taught me so much…Here are some points on what I learned:
Your past does not determine your future and how to reframe thoughts
Make intentional choices that align with your values (not what other people value!)
How to break free from the need for approval or validation from others and pursue your own interests and goals without being constrained by societal norms or expectations. Amen!!
How to cultivate the courage to be disliked when pursuing your authentic values
5. The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
A fantastic introduction to the mind-body connection and how emotions and trauma influence the body and contribute to disease. Here’s what you’ll learn:
Trauma is not just a psychological issue - it also affects the body at a physiological level
The impact of past trauma on the brain's stress response system
How trauma affects memory processing, leading to fragmented or dissociated memories
How trauma is stored in the body, and the importance of somatic therapies in the recovery from trauma
The impact of trauma on attachment patterns and interpersonal relationships
Explores different types of holistic treatment options for trauma - including yoga, mindfulness and work with the unconscious mind
The importance of community and social support in healing from trauma
6. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr Joe Dispenza
If you’re into quantum physics and the science behind manifestation, this is a great book for applying the law of attraction to the development of self-regulation and healing. Key points:
How our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are shaped by past experiences and habitual patterns
The neuroscience behind habit formation and change and how to harness it to create your own
How to tap into the quantum field of infinite potentiality where all possibilities exist
The importance of meditation in reprogramming the unconscious mind
How to identify and challenge limiting beliefs and cultivate new emotions and intentions
How to envision your ideal future self and to embody the qualities and characteristics of that future self in the present moment (so transformational!)
I hope you find some value in this reading list. If you have any other recommendations please leave them in the comments.
Geordie X